May 18th
Chapter Fifteen of Imitation of Mary, by Thomas a Kempis
Seeking Christ After the counsels of Mary

If it happens sometimes that you lose Christ, do not despair, do not give up, do not cease to give yourself in prayer, do not seek earthly consolation; remain in solitude and weep for yourself; then only will you find Jesus once again, you will find Him in the temple of your heart.  No, it is not at the crossroads of the city, nor in the gatherings of those who amuse themselves, nor among earthly reunions, that Jesus is found; but certainly only in the midst of the just, and in the company of the saints.

It is in tears that you must seek Him whom you have lost in pleasures.  It is by faithful service that you must attract Him whom you have deserted by negligence.  It is by humility that you must recall Him whom you have driven afar by pride.  It is by prayer that you must draw Him who does not listen to a heedless heart.  It is with fear and trembling that you should pray to Him who loves not pride and laziness.  It is with gratitude that you should praise Him who is ever ready to give His grace.  It is with an ardent love that you must love Him who loves everyone and pardons everyone, who gives His graces to all without regret, who has never abandoned anyone.

O Mary, O Mother, when the gates of heaven are closed because of my sins, when on all sides entrance is forbidden to me, when all strength and all counsel abandon  me, when I am unable to aid myself in anything, when the weariness of life and grief of heart overwhelm me to the point of no longer loving anything, when the sun of joy is changed into a night of mourning, when consolations from on high vanish, and when despair presses in upon me from every part, when the wind of temptations arises, and the waves of passion grow stronger, when illness itself overpowers me, when all adversities gather and fight against me, where shall I flee and to whom shall I turn, if it is not to you, Mary, who alone knows how to console the unfortunate and to succour the wretched?  Toward whom then shall I turn to attain unhindered, the haven of salvation, to whom if not to you, Mary, Star of the Sea, who shines always in the firmament, who always offers the flaming torch of grace.